JNPR Hosts
by Chubaholic
Summary: When Ouran has a grim problem Team RWBY and Team JNPR are sent to help. They infiltrate the school posing as transfer students. What happens when Jaune and Ren stumble into the host club? *Warning* Bad Puns
1. Chapter 1

**Bold words are author's notes.**

 **If you're wondering why I wrote this, let's just say I lost a bet.**

 **I'm just going to post this chapter, and if a lot of people like this I might post more.**

 **Also, I put in a pun counter at the end.**

"Okay team!" Ruby announced. "Today we are going on some mission to take out some grim, any questions?"

"Yes, where are we even going?" Weiss questioned.

"I don't know Weiss, but it's going to be fun!"

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I was told that we were going on a mission with team JNPR, and we're going to fight some grim!"

Ruby and Weiss continued to bicker like little children until, "Will you guys just cut it out!" Blake whispered intensely.

Ruby stood back and stopped arguing not wanting to make Blake madder than she already was. Weiss looked like she didn't want to give up the argument, but she decided that keeping a good image with Blake was more important.

"All I know is that the mission is going to be awesome. Also, we're not in this mission alone. Team JNPR is coming too, so there's probably be tougher grim to fight! There'll probably be more grim too!" Ruby said in a tone a bit too enthusiastic for the situation at hand.

"Yeah, let's not be so grim about it." Yang joked. Yang laughed, but everyone else just cringed.

They heard something that sounded like Nora screaming about pancakes coming from around the corner. Sure enough, a couple seconds later, they looked down the corner, and they saw Team JNPR. Team RWBY waited for them.

"Um, Hi," Jaune said almost uncertainly.

"Hi," said the overly enthusiastic Nora.

"Hello," Phyrra said happily.

"I trust you're doing well." Ren said calmly.

"Hello," Team RWBY replied, "I'm doing just fine." Weiss continued answering Ren.

"So, you're on a mission too?" asked Jaune.

"Yes! We're on the same mission as you!" Weiss screamed angrily.

"Wait, you are?"

"Yes! Weren't you told?!"

"Oh yeah! I guess I was."

"I can't see how you forgot. It was one of the two things you were told."

"I'm sorry my memory isn't perfect. Can we just put this behind us?"

"If you insist," Weiss said snobly.

"Thank you," Jaune mumbled.

They go to the room that they were supposed to meet in, and to their surprise standing at the front were Qrow and Ozpin. Ruby knew that this was serious and tried to resist the urge to run up to her uncle, give him a hug and scream "UNCLE QROW!" She thought somehow she managed to resist the urge, but 5 seconds later she found herself in the position she tried to avoid.

"Ruby, please let go. I can't breathe." Qrow pleaded. She did. Qrow gasped for air.

"Sorry Uncle Qrow I tried to resist, but I just couldn't". Ruby replied.

"It's okay."

Then, both Team RWBY, and Team JNPR sat down. They sat anxious for the details of the mission.

Ozpin started, "Okay, so as you know I have called you here on a mission, and you will be working with each other."

"But there is still much about this mission you don't know," Qrow continued.

Ozpin started up again after being interrupted by Qrow. "You will be leaving Remnant for this mission. To be more exact you will be going to Japan."

"Really?!" Exclaimed both Team RWBY, and Team JNPR.

"Yes, really." replied the calm Qrow.

"That's so cool." Ruby exclaimed with a lot of excitement in her voice. "Where's Japan?" Questioned Ruby.

Everyone, besides Qrow face palmed. "It's on the eastern side of Remnant," said the patient Qrow.

"Oh, okay" Ruby replied.

Ozpin looked frustrated since he had already been here for around five minutes, and had only gotten three sentences in. "Okay, let me continue. You are going to Japan, but we are going to one certain school in Japan which is reporting a lot of grim." Ozpin paused, and then continued, "It's name is Ouran Academy."

Ozpin paused thinking that he should allow time for side comments or oohs and ahs.

"Come on! Continue, this sounds so exciting if you pause anymore I might just explode," The impatient Nora blurted.

"The mission shouldn't take too long. You guys will probably be gone for a day or two. Then, you guys will come back, but there is always the possibility that it is worse than we thought. There's a reason we are sending you guys and not genuine hunters and huntresses. You guys will probably blend in better than most of them. We are sending Qrow with you so, that the mission will be a success."

"Keep in mind this mission won't just affect the views of Vale. It will affect the entire world's view. So, don't blow everything up! You'll be leaving tomorrow so, get ready!"

Qrow looked shocked he didn't know he was going. He was pretty sure he wouldn't just send the kids on the plane, and then get hammered.

The teams ran out of the room into their dorms, and they started packing. Qrow then turned around when he thought the teams wouldn't be able to hear him anymore and said, "Why do I have to go? I thought I would just put them on the plane and walk away." Qrow complained.

"Qrow, you know this isn't a normal mission." Ozpin replied.

"I know, but they should learn how to do things by themselves."

"I know they should, but today is just not the day."

Back in the dorms Team RWBY was packing things, and getting ready for the journey ahead of them.

Ruby was trying to shove her spare dresses, and pajamas into a suitcase.

Weiss who had already packed her clothes because she was efficient, and was deciding on what types of dust to bring.

Blake was looking back and forth between three ribbons, that she would make into bows, deciding which of them she should bring. She chose all of them.

Yang was completely packed, and was playing with Zwei.

Ruby finished pushing her clothes into her suitcase, and sat down to write a letter to her dad, Tai Yang. It read…

Dear Dad,

Today I was told the details of a mission we're going on starting tomorrow. Team RWBY and I are going. Team JNPR and Uncle Qrow are coming along too. Professor Ozpin said that we're going to a private academy called Ouran. It's in a country called Japan. Professor Ozpin said was over ran with grim. Team RWBY and Team JNPR are doing well. I'm really excited for this mission, and I can't wait to get started!

Your Daughter,

Ruby

"What you writing there sis?" Yang questioned.

"I was writing a letter to dad, but I finished." Ruby replied. Ruby sealed the letter in the envelope.

"Why don't you just send him a message?" Yang queried.

"Letters just feel a bit more personal." Ruby answered.

"That's so sweet Ruby!"

"I was just writing a letter. It's not that cool."

There was a knocking at the door. Ruby walked over, and opened the door. Outside was Team JNPR. "Hello," Team JNPR said in unison.

"Hi guys" Ruby said alone.

"You wanna party?" Nora asked.

"Of course!" Yang screamed pushing Ruby out of the way. "Let's kick this party off with a Yang!" Everyone cringed.

Weice popped up and said, "No Yang. Just no."

The two teams partied through the night. They talked, ate, and laughed. They had a whale of a time, and mentally prepared themselves for the mission ahead.

"What do you think the missions going to be like?" Ren asked Jaune.

"I don't know."

"I think that it's going to be great. Seeing the new culture, and we finally get to show off what we learned here at beacon."

"Yeah, I guess it's going to be alright."

"It's not just going to alright it's going to be amazing." responded Nora, after she barged into the conversation.

"I think we're going to have an amazing time." said Phyrra, who also casually walked into a conversation she wasn't part of.

 **This Chapter's Pun Counter: 2**

 **Chapter Pun Record: 2**

 **Total Pun Counter: 2**


	2. Chapter 2

**I decided that I'm going all in. I'm posting chapter two. I'm already regret posting of this story, but too bad for me.**

"Alright kids," Qrow said gently opening the door. "Get your butts out of your beds it's time to get going!" Qrow screamed. It was 6:30am.

"But, it's so early, Uncle Qrow," Ruby said tiredly.

"Okay, but, you'll be late for your mission."

"It's time to go already!" screamed both Team RWBY and Team JNPR.

Team JNPR went to get their bags from their dorm. Team RWBY picked up their bags, and waited for Team JNPR outside their dorm. "Let's go teams!" Ruby announced. "Yeah, let's do this," said everyone else.

They started heading to the Airport.

They checked in their bags. Then, started waiting in the airport for their flight to be called. Over the intercom they heard, "Flight Number 1823225, Tokyo, Japan".

"Well, that's our flight," said Qrow.

"Let's go. I'm pumped.' Yang said excitedly.

Their plane's number was 0468. Ruby would not stop asking questions about the plane and flight like, "Are the seats comfortable?", "How long is the flight?", "Is there any food?", and a lot of other questions too.

They finally got on the plane. Ruby was so busy looking at everything that she stopped asking questions. Everyone was very thankful for this. They were at the front of the coach class, and they got nine seats in a 3 by 3 grid.

Starting from the left most person, and going right here is where everyone sat. In the closest row to the front there was. Yang, Qrow, and then Ruby. In the middle row there was Jaune, Ren, and Nora. In the back row there was Pyrrha, Blake and finally Weiss.

The plane started moving, it was 9:45am. The plane was going to take around 12 hours to get to Japan. So, the teams wouldn't arrive till 9:45pm, but since Remnant is 15 hours behind Japan. It will be 6:15am in Japan, when they arrive.

Ren looked to his left. Nora was refusing to sit still. Ren look to his right. Jaune looked like he was about to throw up. Ren then knew this 12 hour flight was going to be a nightmare.

The plane took off. Qrow looked back and said, "You kids should try and get some sleep. We are going to get started as soon as we get off this plane and drop off our bags."

Ruby was out cold by 10am. Weiss was reading a book she brought with her. Blake found a movie of her favorite book, Ninjas of Love. Yang and Qrow were talking, and they were telling bad jokes and puns too. It was Punderful.

Jaune was puking in a bag. Phyrra was comforting him from behind. Nora was talking at Ren. Ren was trying to ignore Nora and instead was trying to read a book.

Around six hours later, Ruby, Weiss, Blake and Jaune were both asleep. Ren was trying to sleep, but Nora kept bugging him. So, Ren was trying to get Nora to sleep. This was no easy task. Nora was completely awake, but the second the clock hit four she was fast asleep.

Ren, who had known Nora ever since he was four or so, was still completely bewildered how Nora could be completely awake one minute, and then she could be completely asleep in the next minute. Ren stopped questioning this knowing that the second she woke up that he would have to too.

Yang and Qrow were still talking and saying bad puns. Yang was slightly annoyed because every time the flight attendant walked down the aisle Qrow tried to flirt with her.

About six hours after that the plane was about to land. Yang and Qrow hadn't slept. Whilst Ruby had only slept. Qrow asked Yang to help him wake people up, since they were about to land. Qrow woke Ruby up.

'Five more minutes," said the still sleepy Ruby.

"You've been asleep for twelve hours. I think you'll be fine," laughed Qrow.

"Where are we?" said the now curious Ruby.

"You're in a plane. We're about to land."

"Wow, it's so pretty!" Ruby awed after looking out of the plane for the first time today.

"You could of seen a lot more if you didn't sleep the whole time."

Ruby frowned, "But I was tried. I didn't sleep last night!"

"Oh! So, that's why you slept the whole flight."

"I got scared that I would mess up the mission for everyone. Then, everyone would make fun of me."

"Ruby," Qrow said softly. "You'll be fine Even if you mess up your team is good they won't make fun of you. They're understanding even though one of the members is the Ice Queen's little sister." Ruby elbowed him in the side.

"What it is true." Ruby elbowed slightly harder. "Okay, I get it. I'll stop. Just remember Ruby you're a great leader with an even greater team."

"Yeah," Ruby said. "That's true. My team is pretty great."

A little while later, they landed. Grabbed their bags, and hailed a taxi to the hotel they would be staying at. They got two rooms. One for team RWBY and another one for team JNPR and Qrow.

Qrow said that they would have to go to Ouran soon, but they still had a little bit of time to get ready. They unpacked their bags. In team RWBY's room they heard a bark coming from Yang's suitcase. Team RWBY stared at it.

Weiss then questioned, "Yang, what was that?"

"I may or may not of brought Zwei." Yang replied.

"Yay," squealed the excited team leader.

"You brought that thing," said the dog hating Blake.

"We can't tell anyone we have to keep this a secret," whispered Yang.

Most of the team nodded. Blake just moodily said, "Fine."

Then as if on cue Qrow walked in and said, "Keep a secret about what?"

"Um, nothing," Yang replied.

Zwei then barked again.

"You brought Zwei didn't you?"

"No, that's just my new ringtone," Yang picked up her phone, "Hello."

"Well if you didn't bring Zwei why is he running around on the floor?"

Yang knew she had to react to this fast, "Zwei! How did you get here?"

Qrow knelt down and said, "It's okay. He can stay."

"Yay!" screamed Ruby, Yang and Weiss.

"Now you guys have to start walking to Ouran. Team JNPR are already waiting outside your room."

Team RWBY walked outside and sure enough team JNPR was standing outside waiting for them. They started their journey to Ouran Academy. Luckily the academy was only a ten minute walk away. That walk was full of talk of puns and guns.

 **This Chapter's Pun Counter: 1**

 **Chapter Pun Record: 2**

 **Total Pun Counter: 3**

 **I hope you enjoyed reading this.**

 **I'm running low on puns so if you could comment some that would be great.**


	3. Chapter 3

**It's five in the morning. I haven't slept, and I'm watching Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood for what I can only assume to be my tenth time. This sounds like the perfect time to update.**

 **Sadly, updates after this won't be as often since I'm out of chapters I have wrote in advance.**

 **This is the longest and most punderful chapter yet. Also, that pun is going on the pun counter.**

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The two teams arrived at Ouran Acadamy. They were surprised. The school wasn't over ran with grim like they imagined. There were still students at the school. Everyone was staring at them. They were the only people without the school uniform on. They started heading to the main office so they could find out details about their mission.

There was a certain group of six boys and one girl who were all dressed in the male's uniform. These were the members of The Ouran Highschool Host Club. They spotted the two boys in the group of new students.

"Those two would make great hosts," announced their leader Tamaki.

"They surely look interesting," declared the two ginger twins, Hikaru and Kaoru.

"They might make us some profit," said their vice president, Kyoya.

"You guys shouldn't force them into the host club," asserted Haruhi who looks like a boy, but is actually a girl.

"I wonder what they're like," said Honey, who is truthfully a third year.

Mori just grunted, but Honey took that as, "Me too."

The bell then rung signaling that they should go to class.

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In the main office where all the team members of team RWBY and team JNPR. They were talking to the principle, Mr. Suoh. "So, we have to keep get rid of the school's grim problem," said Ruby.

"Yes, for now you should go and get to class 1-A. That will be your class until the grim problem is solved."

The teams left the room, and they started their way to their class.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

*Haruhi's Point of View*

The new students had made their way to class 1-A. They were standing outside in the hall. The teacher invited them in. "You guys should introduce yourselves," explained the teacher.

Hikaru, and Kaoru were also part of this class along with myself. They were told by Tamaki to take notes on the two new boys. They were supposed to see if they would make good hosts.

A girl named Yang started. The blonde had purple eyes. She said, "Howdy y'all! My name is Yang Xiao Long. I'd like to start this school year off with a Yang!" Everyone cringed. "This here is my sister," she pointed to a girl standing next to her wearing a black dress and a red hood. "I'm hoping to have a great time with all of you guys! I'm warning you now. I really like my puns! That's all I have to say. Xiao Long." There was even more cringing.

Yang's sister was up next. She looked nothing like yang. She had black hair with red highlights and silver eyes. She was shorter than most of the other new students and seemed kind of awkward. She also kind of looked like little red riding hood. She said, "Hello, My name first name is Ruby like the color red. My full name is Ruby Rose. Yeah, my last name is a flower. I'm hoping to have a good time with all of you. I'm also hoping to make new friends."

A girl with long white hair pulled up in a side pony tail and pale blue eyes was next. She had a small scar on her left eye. She stood up with great posture and started, "Good morning everyone. My name is Weiss Schnee. I like reading and studying. I hope we learn a lot of interesting things together." Weiss seemed to blend in well with the stuck up rich kids in this school.

Yang butted in, and she said, "I'm sorry about Ice Queen here. Some say she's Weiss cold." Once again everyone in the cringed.

Next up was a girl with long black hair and yellow eyes. She had a black bow on her head. She introduced herself, "Good day everyone. My name is Blake Belladonna. I'm kind of a book worm. I also like learning about new cultures."

Now Haruhi perked up a bit since one of the two new students Tamaki told her to take note of was about to speak. He looked even more awkward than Ruby. He seemed to be dressed very casually with a hoody and jeans. He also had some armour on, for some reason.

He had blonde hair and dark blue eyes. He kind of looked like Tamaki, but he definitely was not the princely type. "Hi, I'm Jaune, Jaune Arc. First name Jaune, like yellow in French, and last name is Arc, like an arc. I'm hoping to become friends with all of you guys. I think we'll have a great time together."

I feel like if he was a host he would be the awkward type. The girls in the class did seem to like his awkwardness. He probably would make a good host.

Next was a girl with bright red hair and vivid green eyes. She was probably the tallest of the group. I recognized her as Pyrrha Nikos, the girl on the front of every box of Pumpkin Pete's Cereal. She started, "Hello! My name is Pyrrha Nikos. I hope we have a great time together. If you ever need any help just ask. I love being friends with everyone."

A girl with ginger hair that was the same shade of Hikaru and Kaoru's stepped up to introduce herself. Her eyes were pretty shade of turquoise. She exploded, "How's it going? My name is Nora Valkyrie. I like pancakes and the color pink. I think we will be great together. Well, not together together. I mean not as a couple or anything, but friends. *Sloth Sound*." She was weird, and did she just try to make a sloth sound?

The final person was getting ready to introduce himself. He had black hair with a single stripe of pink and his eyes were pink. His hair was pulled back in a ponytail that went down to his mid back. He seemed very calm and collected. He was wearing a green shirt that looked influenced by Chinese clothing.

He started, "Hello, sorry for Nora. My name is Lie Ren, but please call me Ren. I'm not really a morning person, and I also like peace and quiet. I hope we learn many things during our time together." "You also make great pancakes," Nora blurted out. Ren agreed, "I guess I do make pretty good pancakes."

The girls squealed at his relationship with Nora. They kind of remind of Honey and Mori. Though I believe if I asked him about his relationship with Nora he would Lie about it. I cringed at the pun I made in my head.

The teacher then asked, "Any questions?"

A random girl near the front raised her hand. The group called on her. She questioned, "Where are you from?"

Weiss answered, "We're from the Kingdom of Vale."

Then Hikaru and Kaoru were called on. They asked completely in sync, "Why don't you guys wear the school's uniform?"

Ren then answered, "The principal said that since we are transfer students, we don't have to wear the school's uniform."

I then raised my hand. I was called on. "How old are you? I'm just wondering this because all of you besides Ruby seem like third years."

This time Yang answered, "Ruby is fifteen and the rest of us our seventeen. Ruby skipped two grades so she's currently a first year like us. I don't know why, but for some reason Vale starts school two years later than Japan."

The teacher then asked them to take their seats in the back two rows. Ruby sat directly behind me. She was in the same row as Yang, Weiss, and Blake. In the row back was Jaune, Nora, Pyrrha, and Ren.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

I was about to walk out to get my lunch, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Ruby. She asked, "Hey, do you want to have lunch with me?" I accepted.

On the other side of the room I saw Hikaru and Kaoru asking Jaune and Ren if they wanted to have lunch with them. Ren accepted, but he asked if Nora could come along. I'm pretty sure he did this because Nora would of come no matter what happened. Jaune just accepted. I saw Pyrrha looked slightly hurt. I invited her to have lunch with us too.

We just stayed in the classroom and ate our lunches since the dining room was always really busy. We talked about random stuff. Then, Pyrrha asked, "Haruhi, why do you wear the boy's uniform? You are a girl, right?"

Ruby sat there confused. I responded, "Yeah, I'm a girl. I wear the boy's uniform since a bunch of people thought I was a boy, and they gave me the boy's uniform. Now most people think I'm a boy."

Ruby then said, "Well, that must be awkward."

Haruhi laughed, "It's about as awkward as this conversation right now." The three laughed. The bell rung.

"I guess that we should get back to our seats," urged Pyrrha.

Once everyone was back in their seats the teacher started with the lesson once again.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

 **I broke my pun record! I'm not sure if I should be proud about this. Also, I'm running out of puns. I asked a friend to send me some, but they haven't responded, possibly because it's five in the morning.**

 **This Chapter's Pun Counter: 5**

 **Chapter Pun Record: 5**

 **Total Pun Counter: 8**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hooray! I'm actually posting. We shall throw a party! Well, maybe not a party because that sounds like a lot of work. I got it! How about a nice refreshing can of Diet Coke for everyone? Actually that also sounds like too much work. How about a can of Diet Coke just for me? Yeah, that sounds good.**

 **Sadly, this chapter has no puns.**

*Ren's Point of View*

The bell rung signifying the end of the school day. Ruby invited the entirety of both team RWBY and JNPR to head to the library with her. There were four libraries so they decided to look through them all to find a quiet one. Not one of the libraries were quiet. Most of them stayed at the fourth library since it was the quietest.

I decided that I was going to go to a room with no one in it, and Jaune decided to follow me. I remembered passing a room that was abandoned and concluded that was the room I would go to.

Jaune and I finally reached the room. It was the abandoned third music room. I opened the door. Then, a bunch rose petals flew straight at them. Since I have super awesome ninja skills, as Nora calls them, I was able to push the petals out of the way, but the petals knocked Jaune over.

"Welcome to the host club, ladies," chanted 6 boys and 1 girl dressed as a boy.

"Oh they're just boys," said the two the boys that invited me to lunch earlier today.

"Hey Hikaru and Kaoru aren't these two in your class?" questioned a black haired boy with glasses.

"Yeah, but, the blonde doesn't make much sense," said one of the ginger twins. "And the one with black hair doesn't act very socially," continued the other twin. They finished together, "So we don't know much about them."

Tamaki then said, "You two should join our club."

"Ugh no thanks," Jaune stuttered.

"Oh! To think you're gay."

"Wait what! I'm not!"

"So what type of boys do you like? The strong and silent type, like Mori." He pointed at a tall boy with short black hair. "The boy lolita, like Honey." He pointed at a short blonde with a pink bunny rabbit. "The cool type, like Kyoya." He pointd to a boy with black hair and glasses. "The mischievous type, like Hikaru and Kaoru." He pointed to the twins.

Jaune then screamed, "I'm not gay!"

"Or do you like like princely type, like me?"

Jaune backed up and hit a table with an expensive looking tea set on it. Everyone gasped. I used my ninja skills once again. I caught the tea set. Everyone started clapping.

Then everyone looked at me and asked, "When did you get here?"

I responded, "I was always here."

Tamaki then exclaimed, "I can't believe you caught that tea set. You should totally join our club!"

"No thank you"

"Come on!"

"I'm not interested."

"Come on! You'll be great." I then gave Jaune the tea set.

I walked over to talk to Kyoya and questioned, "Is he always like this?"

He replied, "I know he can be annoying sometimes. Is your friend alway like this?"

"Yes." Suddenly I heard something smash on the ground. I ignored it. Jaune tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Um, Ren?"

I responded, "Jaune not now the adults are talking." I heard the club snickering in the background.

"Ugh, Ren?"

"Not now, Jaune."

"Ren?"

"What is it Jaune?!"

"I tripped and broke the tea set."

"Are you hurt?"

"No."

"So, you did a Jaune, again."

"Did you just make my name a derogatory term?"

"No, that was Weiss. I was repeating it."

"Weiss wouldn't do that!"

"She would."

"There's no way she would!"

"She did." Jaune was about to respond, but then I said, "Jaune, just be quiet and let the adults handle this."

I turned to Kyoya because he seemed to be in charge. "How much do we have to pay you back?"

He responded, "One million yen." I stared at him doing the calculations in my head. It was equal to nine thousand one hundred sixty eight Lien (I'm pretending a Lien is worth a US dollar). Qrow was going to kill us.

I replied, "I guess we'll have to find another way to pay you back."

The blonde, Tamaki responded, "Well, you know the saying when in Rome do as the Romans do. If you don't have money you will pay us back with your body. Starting today you are a host."

Jaune blurted out, "What does a host do?"

"As a host you will entertain ladies. If you two get a total of one thousand requests between you, you will be set free."

I got suspicious, but I decided not to say anything.

*Jaune's Point of View*

I can't believe I broke that tea set. Ren trusted me and everything. Now I have to join a host club, and Qrow's going to kill me. I started hyperventilating, and I passed out.

*Ren's Point of View*

Jaune was just hyperventilating, and now he's on the floor passed out. I was hoping this hosting thing isn't too bad. Then, all of a sudden I heard gears turning, and I saw a platform rise up from the ground. I also heard maniacal laughter. I looked up, and I saw a girl on the platform. I recognized her from class. I'm pretty sure her name was Renge.

"Now what do we have here?" she questioned.

Tamaki responded, "Our two new hosts!"

"Why is one passed out on the floor?"

"I don't know."

"Tamaki, do you know what this means?"

"We have to decide on their types!"

The entire host club stopped and stared at me and the passed out Jaune. I'm pretty sure they were deciding our "types". They started whispering to each other, sometimes stopping to look at us. After a good five minutes, they walked over to us.

Renge started, "We have decided you types!" She pointed at Jaune, who just woke up, "You, shall be the awkward type, but you're only awkward because you have a horrible secret."

She then pointed at me, "You, are the quiet type, but you're only quiet because of a traumatic event in your past. Now, let's get you two ready for hosting."

The twins, who I could already tell apart, started to walk up to us and Kaoru started, "You guys look fine."

Hikaru continued, "But we should probably take off Jaune's armor."

They finished in unison, "It makes him look too intimidating."

"It doesn't make me look that intimidating. I should keep it on to be safe," Jaune defended.

They replied, "It's just a stupid piece of armor. Why do you care if we take it off unless… There's something embarrassing underneath it."

"There's nothing embarrassing underneath it."

"So, you shouldn't mind if we took it off." When they said 'off' they removed the piece of armor and started laughing hysterically, and so did the rest of the host club, besides Haruhi. Even Mori laughed. Of course, I didn't laugh because I have already seen it. I wondered why Haruhi wasn't laughing.

Then, Haruhi said, "It's not that funny. I have one too." She mumbled the last part quietly thinking nobody would hear it, but we all did. I chuckled a little.

Jaune then said, "It's a prize from Pumpkin Pete's cereal."

Haruhi then appeared besides him.

She high fived Jaune and said, "Yeah!"

 **This Chapter's Pun Counter: 0**

 **Chapter Pun Record: 5**

 **Total Pun Counter: 8**


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm here writing this at the time when all the best stories are written, 4am. I mean it was either this or learning how to say happy birthday in even more languages.**

 **I have successfully read all of the RWBY and OHSHC crossovers on the internet. It took me ten minutes, but I have read all three of them.**

 **I'm dying over here since I just realised I share a birthday with Ruby.**

 **Expect that I will be posting more in the near future since I have sit in the back of a car for like eight hours driving somewhere. Then, I have to sit in the back of a car for another eight hours on the way back. I'll try to write a couple chapters during the car rides, since I don't think I will have much else to do.**

*Nora's Point of View*

I was in the library with Team RWBY and Pyrrha. Pyrrha and Blake were reading books. I had just finished playing a board/card game with Ruby, Weiss, and Yang. I was playing as Mistral. Ruby was playing as Vale. Yang was playing as Vacuo, and Weiss was playing as Atlas. Yang had won and thanked her punderful strategy.

Ren and Jaune went somewhere a while ago, and they haven't returned yet. I was getting worried.

I decided to same something about it, "Hey guys, is anyone else a little worried the boys haven't came back yet."

Pyrrha responded, "I'm getting a little bit worried too. Maybe we should look for them." **May this be the beginning of this story's Arkos shipping.**

"Yeah! Let's go!" Ruby shouted. Even though it was a library no body shushed her, since unlike a normal library you couldn't hear a pun drop, as Yang would say. This was because everyone else was being really loud.

We decided to stick together, and we started checking rooms. We saw many clubs like the chess club, the newspaper club, the robotics club, the anime club, and a couple of other clubs.

*Still Nora's Point of View*

We had checking rooms for at least 10 minutes, and we had checked about a quarter of the rooms in the building. We opened the door to music room three.

"Welcome ," chorused a group of boys as rose petals flew at us. Among those boys were Jaune and Ren. Jaune wasn't wearing his armor fully exposing The Pumpkin Pete's Rabbit. Ruby and Yang were on the ground laughing there heads off. Whilst, Blake and Weiss just snickered.

"Oh, it's the transfer students," stated a set of ginger twins from my class.

"Kyoya, who are these people?" questioned a tall blonde. **It took everything I had in me not to write mommy there.**

The one I assumed to be Kyoya replied, "As Hikaru and Kaoru said, they're transfer students. They're from Beacon Academy in Vale."

The blonde started screaming, "Fair princesses shouldn't be out fighting scary grimm. That job should be for the strong men folk. What if my precious princesses were to get hurt. That would be a tragedy."

Yang jumped in saying, "Don't worry I think we could Yang in there."

You could feel the cringe from a mile away. Yang took this as an opportunity, "The last time something bad happened Ruby Rose to the challenge. Come on, why are you acting like this is 'pun'ishment. You guys aren't Weiss. There is no need for you to give me the old cold shoulder."

We stood there for a second after the barrage of 'pun'ches. **I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself there.**

A boy with raven black hair started speaking, "The one wearing a cape is Ruby Rose, and her sister is the blonde, Yang Xiao Long. The girl with black hair is Blake Belladonna," Kyoya paused looking at his notes in almost disbelief. He continued, "The one with the white hair is the heiress to the Schnee dust company, Weiss Schnee."

"Wait she's the heiress to The Schnee Dust Company."

Kyoya responded, "That is what I just said. Anyways, the girl with the shortish ginger hair is Nora Valkyrie, and the one with long red hair is Pyrrha Nikos. She is one of the best fighter in the Kingdom of Vale, and you may recognize as the girl on the front of every box of Pumpkin Pete's Cereal. That is all I will say for now."

I decided to ask them some questions, "Okay since you know all about us I'm going ask you some questions. Who are you guys? What type of business are you running? And why are Ren and Jaune here?"

Kyoya answered, "I'm Kyoya Ootori. The tall blonde one is Tamaki. The two gingers are Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin. The brunette is Haruhi Fujioka. The tall black haired guy is Takashi Morinozuka, but you should called him Mori. The boy resting on his shoulders is Mitsukuni Haninozuka, just called him Honey. We are running a host club. Mr. Ren and Mr. Arc have joined because they have broke a vase and are now in debt to us."

I responded, Got it. Can Pyrrha and I talk to Ren and Jaune for a minute?"

Kyoya then said, "I don't see why not."

*Third Person*

Jaune, Nora, Pyrrha, and Ren were in a huddle talking to each other.

Nora started, "Jaune how did you break a vase with Ren around. He must of caught it, since he has super awesome ninja skills."

Jaune responded, "Well, Ren did catch it. Then, he gave it to me, and I sort of dropped it."

"That's okay Jaune. We just have to make up a plan to get out of this. How about we break their legs!"

"Nora, I think that will just make things worse."

"No it won't. I have my hammer right here. It will be easy. It's a two step plan. Step one, I walk up to them. Step two, I smash their legs with my hammer."

Ren finally spoke up, "Nora I think that will just put us further into debt."

Nora thought for a bit. Then, she spoke, "Okay, so no breaking their legs. How about we break someone else's legs?"

"I don't think we need to break anyone's legs. Jaune and I can just work through this. How about Pyrrha, Team RWBY and yourself go to the hotel, and Jaune and I will talk to Qrow about this when we get home.

"Okay."

*Time Skip*

*Still Third Person*

Kyoya saw that the huddle broke up and watched as the girls left the room. He was slightly excited to see how the new host would do, but of course he would show it.

Not even a minute later, the guests showed up. They all said, "Welcome to the host club."

 **I promised extra puns last chapter so I delivered.**

 **Also, did anyone else watch chapter one of volume five, yet? I've watched twice. It's really good, but the opening wasn't that good. The animation that goes with the opening seems more anime than the other four openings.**

 **This Chapter's Pun Counter: 7**

 **Chapter Pun Record: 7**

 **Total Pun Counter: 15**


	6. Chapter 6

**Stuff happened. I couldn't update, but don't worry. I'm good. On to the story. I'm starting with the end of the chapter before last because the other one was just supposed to be a special, but what happened there has happened. Also, I deleted the Halloween chapter special for I thought it was a piece of trash. I'm probably right because I just sneakily wrote that throughout school completely ignoring all of my teachers. 10/10 would probably do again.**

Last Chapter

Not even a moment later, the guest showed up. They all said, "Welcome to the host club."

Now This Chapter

The girls curiously looked at the new hosts. They were intrigue. One seemed quite and mysterious, and the other seemed a lot like Tamaki for some unknown reason. A few brave and adventurous girls wandered over to the new hosts.

(Ren's Point of View)

I was sitting there calmly and 'mysteriously' as I waited for some girls to wander over to my table. I saw three girls heading straight to my table, and I got prepared, mentally. I put on a smile, and looked at the girls. They blushed.

"Hello there, Ladies. I'm Ren. How are you three today?" I introduced. I heard many mumbles of good.

One of them spoke up, "So, Ren, do you have any hobbies."

"I guess I like reading and cooking."

"Oh, what do you cook."

"Well, I guess I can cook almost anything, but I have a friend that really likes pancakes. She makes me cook them a lot."

"Are you two close?"

"Definitely, we've known each other ever since we were kids and haven't been separated since."

The girls screamed about this being "kawaii". We sat there quietly for a moment and then I was bombarded with questions.

"Are you left or right handed?" one questioned.

"Left," I answered.

"What is your favorite color."

"Either pink or green."

"What's your family like?"

"I don't have any siblings, and my parents…"

"What about your parents."

"They died in an accident when I was little."

I was suddenly hugged from behind, and I heard something that I thought was a girl crying. Looking behind me, I came to the realization that the girl I thought I had heard was Tamaki.

"You poor thing!" Tamaki screamed, being way to dramatic. He continued, "To think that your an only child, and you have no parents. Oh! Life can be so unfair. Us rich people have all these things when you commoners like you and Haruhi have to deal with your parents dying."

"Tamaki, calm down. It's not like I'm dying or anything," I responded.

"Ren, don't Lie to me," Tamaki snapped fingers and did finger guns with a stupid expression on his face. He was trying so hard to get people to laugh at his horrible pun. It wasn't working.

"I'm not lying."

"Couldn't imagine what it would be like to live on the streets!"

"I don't live on the streets, thanks to the sidewalks."

*Jaune's Point of View*

It was almost time for me to host, and I was scared. What if I mess up? What if I don't know what to say? Wait, what if they don't like me? Man, I wish Pyrrha was here she would know what to do. Somebody tapped me on the shoulder making me jump off the chair I was sitting on and on to the floor. The girls, now surrounding me, laughed. I stood up and promptly apologize as I laughed awkwardly, blushing slightly. One girls dropped to the floor with a nose bleed. The others were screaming.

I was quickly bombarded with questions.

"Are you left handed or right handed?"

"Where are you from?"

"Will you marry me?"

"What's your phone number?"

"Do you have any siblings?"

"What is your favorite color?"

"Do you like trains?"

"Wait," I started, "can you girls take turns. I can't keep track of all these questions, unlike my friend over there."

"How long have you two known each other?" one asked.

"I haven't even known him for a year, but it seems like it has been so much longer. He reminds me of the brother I never had."

"That's so sweet, so does that mean you're an only child?" questioned another, who was slightly confused.

"Not at all. I don't have any brothers, but I do have seven sisters."

"SEVEN SISTERS!" They screamed in unison. "That's so many. How do you handle it?" one queried

"I guess I'm just used to it. It's like if you spent your entire life drinking nothing but water. It may be sad that you've never tasted the sweet crisp refreshing taste of Diet Coke, but you wouldn't know what you're missing out on because you've never had a delicious can." **I'm not sponsored. I just really like Diet Coke.**

"What is your favorite color?"

"Yellow."

"I've just released I don't even know your name," stated one the girls.

"My name's Jaune Arc. It's short, sweet, and it rolls off the tongue, the ladies love it." **I changed the quote a little.**

"You sure you should say that in front of people you barely know."

"Well as my mother says, 'strangers are just friends you haven't met yet.'"

"Somebodies a mama's boy," one of the girls said.

"I am not!" We laughed. I turned my head as I saw Tamaki in my peripheral vision running somewhere. He went up to Ren and he hugged him. I could see Ren's discomfort in his face. I snickered underneath my breath.

I looked back to the girls and continued talking to them until, "I'm sorry ladies, but the host club is now closing. I wished the girls goodbye as they sighed wishing they could stay longer.

*Ren's Point of View*

Tamaki called everybody over to have a meeting. This quickly turned into him trying to hug Haruhi, Jaune, and I at any time possible. It made me feel uncomfortable every single time. They were talking about ideas for cosplays when all of a sudden Nora walked into the room and screamed, "I'm here no need to fear!"

"Nora," I started, "Why are you here? I thought you and the others went back to the hotel."

"They went back, but I didn't. I didn't want to leave you here to walk home by yourself."

"Hey what about me?" Jaune asked.

"Doesn't that make it worse," Nora replied.

"Hey that's mean!"

"I'm just kidding Jaune. You really don't know how to take a joke, do you?"

"I can take a joke just as good as the next guy."

"Wait," interrupted Tamaki, "Are Ren and Nora a couple?"

"We're not a couple! We're just childhood friends who have spent a lot of time together. I mean not together together, but you know as friends."

"Nora," I started. "We have to go. Qrow will kill us if we are any later."

*Third Person*

"They definitely have a crush on each other," the twins stated in unison.

"Guys, they probably have just known each other for a long time. They aren't a couple. You really should stop trying to meddle in things that don't involve you," Haruhi replied.

"Well Nora is a girl, and the job of a host is to make every and any girl we can happy. Men it is time to initiate operation "Make Sure Ren and Nora Get Together or MSRNGT," announced Tamaki.

"Tamaki, We really should leave it to them. We don't even know if they love each other. We have to wait for more proof," stated Kyoya. "It's just to much of a bother."

"But Kyoya!"

"Tamaki, Let's wait for now."

 **This Chapter's Pun Counter: 2**

 **Chapter Pun Record: 7**

 **Total Pun Counter: 17**


	7. Chapter 7

**I feel inspired (aka bored) so I am going to write another chapter of this amazing (aka awful) book! Also, I was reading this book back, and I realised something. This book has a really bad story, but I did end up laughing my head off multiple times. So, I call it a success so far. I will finish this chapter, and then reward myself with new episodes of Camp Camp that I haven't watched, yet.**

*Ren's Point of View*

Jaune, Nora, and I were making our way back to the hotel in which we were staying in for this mission, when a thought hit me. I was going to have to tell Qrow about the tea set that Jaune and I, mainly Jaune, broke.

Before, I knew it I was in front of the hotel. We entered the building and made our way to our room. We opened the door, and Qrow was standing right there, now in front of us. He started to interrogate us, "Why are you three so late?"

One of the worst possible things that could possibly happen happened… Jaune answered, "We decided to check out a club."

"What type of club?"

Nora somehow slipped out and was playing with Zwei.

"Um… We a… Well, we didn't really try to…"

"Spit it out already. It's not like you went to some kind of communist club or something."

"Yeah Jaune, quit Stalin," joked Yang.

Jaune kept stuttering. He kept trying to figure out how to say that we were forced to join a host club. I couldn't take anymore. It was too painful to watch. I interrupted Jaune saying, "We were forced to join a host club."

"Man that could lead to a whole host of problems, am I right?" Yang chuckled.

Qrow was curious, "How were you forced to join a host club? You're probably stronger than those rich kids. Also, I can teach of the magical thing that can get you out of doing things that aren't important and you want to do. This magical thing is the word no."

"We kind of have a debt with them," I answered.

"What did you do? How did get in debt to a host club?"

"We broke a tea set."

"We? Are you sure that's right. I couldn't imagine you doing something like that. You aren't that clumsy. You sure it wasn't just Jaune."

"Yeah, it was Jaune."

Jaune looked at me with a face that read, 'why did you do this to me?' "Ren, I thought you were my friend! Why did you throw me under the bus like that?" Jaune whimpered.

I looked at Jaune and replied, "I didn't throw you under the bus you did that to yourself."

Qrow cleared his throat. Making Jaune and I look at him, waiting for him to say something. He stayed silent for less then five seconds, but it felt like it was for more than five minutes. He then broke out into laughter. "It's fine I thought you did something really bad. It was just a stupid mistake. I made mistakes like this all the time when I was your age," Qrow said through fits of laughter.

Qrow continued laughing for a good couple seconds. He waved us inside to were the rest of my fellow students were waiting. "Let's go out to dinner to celebrate nothing going horribly wrong on the first day of our mission!" Qrow announced.

Yang then raised a valid point, "What about Ren and Jaune being forced to join a host club. That seems TEArrible!"

"That's not all bad. It could help us get information. Just flirt with girls a bit and they'll tell you almost anything. Anyways, let's put that behind us for now and get us some food!" Everyone cheered.

We were walking down the busy streets of Tokyo discussing what we wanted to eat when I heard a familiar voices. I took a peek behind me to see the entire host club. I turned back not wanting to talk to them at the moment. We continued walking, no one else noticed they were there. Even if they did, they didn't say anything. Until Tamaki noticed. He said something to the rest of the host club that I couldn't quite hear. They he yelled, "Hey Jaune! Ren! It's me Tamaki!

Jaune almost jumped out of his shoes from fright , while I just tried to act surprised by raising my eyebrows slightly.

Jaune started an awkward conversation with them, "Hey guys! What are you guys doing here."

"We going to try commoners food! Haruhi said that there is a good commoners eating establish around here. They call it a diner," Tamaki enthused.

Ruby eyes lit up at the mention of good food. She looked back at Qrow, and he nodded. Ruby inquired, "Do you mind if we join you? We're new around here so we don't really know where what places have good food."

"That sounds like an amazing idea!" Tamaki screeched. "Though I have a question, who is that adult with you. Is he keeping you hostage? Blink twice for yes."

"Tamaki! You're silly! That's my uncle Qrow not some creepy pervert dude."

"Yeah sempai, he's not you after all," Haruhi whispered under her breath. This caused Tamaki to go into the nearest ally way and start growing mushrooms.

"Man he sure seems like a fungi," Yang joked. We laughed at the awful joke. We continued walking together making small talk until we got to a restaurant. It had a sign on it that read, 'JJ's Diner'. **I've watched to much Parks and Rec.**

We entered the diner and waited for the people who worked there to push together enough tables to seat all 16 of us. We sat down and started to look at the menu, it was one of those places that served breakfast at all hours of the day. We came at a time when they were having an all you can eat pancake special. All I could think was that Nora was going to eat this place out of both business and pancake making materials.

*Third Person*

Ruby and Honey were arguing to figure out if cake, or cookies were better. They were no closer to finding a solution from when they started. When they figured that finding out the answer was impossible was impossible they switched to waffles versus pancakes. Nora jumped into this argument. They soon figured out that this too was impossible.

*WARNING, CAT PUNS AHEAD*

Blake, Haruhi and Pyrrha were discussing books they read recently. They told stories of great tales of romance and adventure! Blake told Haruhi about A Man With Two Souls for they didn't have it in Japan. Yang came over and said that Blake should tell them about Ninjas of Love. This made Blake go silent like a ninja. It had gone to PURRonal. She would have been FELINE better and PAWfured if she had never brought it up. She just wanted to disaPURR It was a CATastrophe. **PAWden me, PURRhapps I shouldn't have done this. I just needed a PURRpose for all these cat puns I had stored. It was just too PURRfect, but don't worry, I have more.**

*NO MORE CAT PUNS FROM HERE ON*

Weiss and Kyoya were having a conversation about the best brand of tea sets. Yang, Hikaru, Qrow and Kaoru were trying to mess with Tamaki and Jaune with anything from bad jokes to blowing into their ears. Many people realized that Tamaki and Qrow sounded pretty similar. They wondered why. Ren and Mori were awkwardly looking at each other when sipping tea.

Once everyone was done with their meal, they wished each other goodbye. They would see each other at school tomorrow.

 **This Chapter's Pun Counter: 13  
Chapter Pun Record: 13  
Total Pun Counter: 29**

 **Three cans of diet coke and Twelve episodes of Fullmetal Alchemist later and I'm finally done! I'm sorry for the cat puns. I physically couldn't stop. I really tried to. They just kept going. Also, thanks to all the people who have read this. Somehow almost 1000 people have read the first chapter alone. Also, I checked my grammar this time! I'm so proud of myself. I'm finally done with chapter seven! So you know what that means! It's Camp Camp time, baby!**


	8. Chapter 8

**I have not forgotten about this. Yee-haw! Everyone is OOC. Let's go!**

*Ren's Point of View*

 _Beep. Beep. Beep._

What's that noise?

 _Beep. Beep. Beep._

There it is again! What's happening? It's too early for this.

 _Beep. Beep. Beep._

I should just go back to sleep. This has to be some form of prank or something.

 _Beep. Beep. Beep._

This definitely seems like something Ruby, Yang, or even Jaune, if he was roped into it, would do.

 _Beep. Beep. Beep._

Why won't this stop?

I sit up abruptly trying to find the source of the noise. Looking to my left I see the culprit of this not-so-elaborate prank, the bane of the existences of so many poor souls... An alarm clock.

I then look to the right me of me seeing Nora, whomst've is staring directly at me, making me smile. I open my mouth to vocalize a friendly greeting, but before I can even get a single word out Nora starts to speak, "Good morning, Ren! How are you?" Nora takes a pause, and I assume she wants me to respond. My assumption is wrong. Nora continues not even two seconds after she stopped. "I mean you're probably good, unless you're dying, which would in fact not be very good! You'd tell me if you were dying, right? But on the other you like to keep your problems to yourself, don't you? That can only mean one thing. You're dying! Oh my god, you're dying, aren't you. My instincts were right all along!"

Wait, what's happening here. I should probably say something.

"NANI?" Ruby shouts, yeeting into the room, "You're dying."

Man, this sure is a weird coincidence. It's almost like this is a poorly written fanfiction. **Shucks, I've been caught. See ya' later suckers! I'm not going back to fourth wall breaking jail, goddammit! I've served my time!** You know what, I'm just going to let them go through with this. It's usually entertaining.

Nora responds to Ruby's realization by saying, "Yes, he's dying."

She pauses. If she was doing this in genuine sorrow or simply to seem more dramatic, I will never know. Suddenly, Nora's eyes widen as if she was told My Hero Academia season 4 was cancelled. "Ruby… I just realized something… I don't have anyone to make me pancakes anymore!"

Wait. Is this really all Nora sees me as? Does she just think of me as her own personal pancake maker? No way, Nora and I have known each other since we were kids. We've been through so much together. We're best friends, that I'm certain of. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Ruby and Nora start screaming about me 'dying'. I hear footsteps as people start to make there way to our room, most likely wondering, 'What on earth is going on?'. After letting Ruby and Nora scream for a while I let out a fake cough, trying to make this even more entertaining.

"Oh no," Nora gasped. "It's worse than I thought! He has tuberculosis." Wow, that's pretty random. Then again, this is Nora. I really should be expecting this by now.

I continue pretending to cough, and at this point nearly everyone in the our two hotel rooms starts looking legitimately concerned. The looks of utter confusion of their faces are great. I want to laugh so badly, but I must stick to my amazing acting.

I pretend to die because this was kind of getting dragged out for longer than I want it to be.

"Ren," Nora hesitates. "You can't be dead."

"He's gone," Ruby says, in an attempt to console Nora.

We're all sitting in silence now, and no one is making sound at all. I make a decision. I'm going to break up this silence.

"Boo!" I yell.

Nora picks up the nearest weapon to her, a pillow, and hits me with it, "He's a ghost!" she exclaimed.

"Hey kids," Qrow called. We all look up at him, Nora even stops trying to murder me with a pillow. "You guys have to be out of the door in fifteen minutes."

We all pause. Why do we have to leave again? Is there something important we have to do? By looking around the room, I'm able to gather that everyone else is just as confused as I.

"You guys have to go to Ouran," Qrow sighs.

We continue to look at Qrow with confusion. What on earth is Ouran?

"You know, for your mission," Qrow continues.

This gets our gears turning. Memories of our mission details hit me like a truck. That's why we were here. That's what we have do.

I stand up and watch as the others either start to get dressed or leave the room that I was just being murdered in. I walk over to where I had put my clothes when I had unpacked, selecting the same thing I almost alway wore: white pants and a green Chinese inspired top. I slip on the pants with no bother, and then I start to put on the top. The only hard thing about wearing shirts like this is having to tie them, and sometimes I tie them wrong they become undone. It really sucks whenever wardrobe malfunctions of epic proportions like that happen.

I pull myself out of my day dreaming haze, remembering that I only have very limited time until I had to leave. I look around the room realizing I'm the only person still in the room besides Nora, who is waiting for me at the door to the room. She hands me something to eating saying a cream cheese bagel to eat, whilst saying something about Qrow going to get us all food. I start to eat the bagel when Nora pull on my arm. "Come on slowpoke," she jeers. "The others are waiting for us. You don't want them to leave without us, do you?"

Taking the elevator to the lobby I see the rest of my team, and team RWBY, waiting for my arrival.

"Nora," Weiss complains. "Why didn't you hurry Ren up? Now we're going to be late!"

"Come on Weiss, we're in No Rash." Yang banters. "Anyways we can just Ren really fast to make up for it."

I feel the cringe radiate around the room. We fall silent, besides Ruby, who giggles a little. Standing still for this long is probably too much for the ball of energy known as Ruby because gets us to finally start walking to Ouran.

The walk is nice. It gives me some time to think to myself. I realize that even though we've only spent a single day at this school, it already feels like we've been there for a while. I'm actually slightly excited to go to the host club, but there is no way I'd let any of the hosts know I feel this way.

Throughout the walk to Ouran Academy we're mostly silent with just small amounts of banter between us. We start to walk towards the building to enter, most of us still in shock at the sheer size of the school. It's almost the size of Beacon, yet it's only a normal school. We make our way to class 1-A and sit down. I have a feeling that this is going to be a good day.

*Time skip*

This is a horrible day. Jaune and I have been blindfolded and shoved into some form of moving vehicle. I hear the voices of the hosts... Were they kidnapped too?

 **This Chapter's Pun Counter: 2  
Chapter Pun Record: 13  
Total Pun Counter: 31**

 **What's happened to Ren, Jaune and the hosts? You'll have to wait till I write the next chapter to find out, and knowing how often I write, you're probably going to be waiting a year!**


	9. Chapter 9

**This chapter is randomly wrong, and I don't know why. Also, just a warning, at some point, some character will loudly scream, "WHAT? You're not coming to my tea party? BETHANY! I MADE BISCUITS!" Be prepared.**

 **Chapter 9**

 _*Ren's P.O.V*_

I couldn't see. There was what I assumed to be a blindfold over my eyes, so I decided to rely on my other senses to try and figure out where I was. I heard the sound of a car engine, so I naturally assumed I was being transported somewhere. I heard what I can only assume to be Jaune crying from terror, so he was with me too.

There were others in the van with us. They weren't crying or showing any sign of fear. They were talking normally. I recognized the voices belonged to the hosts. Were they kidnapped along with us? No, they would be more scared if they were. They were our kidnappers.

All the sudden the car stopped, and I heard Haruhi scream, "Hold on. Where are we going?"

The poor girl hadn't realized what was happening to her yet. The hosts were talking as if they had no guilt about what they were doing. They weren't blackmailed. They were doing this on purpose.

After what felt like an eternity (but what, in reality, was only 20 or so minutes), I was pushed out of the car. My nose was immediately blasted with the scent of seawater. What type of weird torture is this? When the blindfold was lifted away from my eyes, I saw a waterpark type resort in front of me. This may just be the weirdest form of torture ever created.

"Ren!" Kaoru screamed. "Come with me, we need to get you into a swimsuit."

"Article 5 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, 'No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.' If you continue with this treatment you could be punished under a court of law," I retorted.

"What?" Hikaru and Kaoru said simultaneously.

"THE MITOCHONDRIA IS THE POWERHOUSE OF THE CELL! " Jaune screamed.

"Wait, no Jaune. That's not what this is about," I explained. "They're trying to kidnap us."

The ginger twins burst out in laughter. "We're not trying to kidnap you." They said through a cacophony of laughs. I heard Kyoya sigh, he's probably the one who organized this kidnapping. "We're not trying to kidnap you," Kyoya affirmed.

"That's just what a kidnapper would say!" Jaune interjected.

"Jaune," I interrupted, "let the adults talk."  
"But you didn't let me talk last time."

"There's a reason for that."

"Rude!"

"Anyway," I said, in an attempt to continue my conversation with Kyoya so I could figure out what was going on, though I could still hear Jaune's plentiful endeav **arcs** at getting my attention, I continued to ignore him. "Kyoya, why are we here?"

"Simple. This place is a brand new theme park that my family, the Ootori group runs. It's called the Tropical Aqua Garden."  
"So, this is a vacation location?"

"Exactly. I thought that it would be nice to have some time off." Kyoya seemed to have a look of cunning like he had another reason to why we were here, but I had already tried to call him out for kidnapping like seven times. I'd figure out his ulterior motive later.

For now, I'll just go along and get a swimsuit from Hikaru and Kaoru. I walked towards the changing room, that I had seen the twins usher Haruhi into as I dragged Jaune behind me. The room was South Tropic themed and was actually quite nice. I thought that this wouldn't be too bad, but boy was I wrong.

As I walked in the gingers handed me a speedo to put on. I immediately pushed it back. There's no way that I'd wear a speedo. After, much arguing I was able to get the twins to give me a normal pink swimsuit, whilst Jaune got a yellow one.

I got a quick glimpse of Haruhi's swimsuit, and I thought it looked pretty nice. But when I left the dressing room I saw Haruhi, who was talking to the twins, and she wearing a weird yellow monstrosity of a cover-up. I didn't question why she was wearing this, it's probably something relating to Tamaki.

I eavesdropped into they're conversation and heard Haruhi say, "I guess they're about this big, round, and to use it, you have to pump it full of air." **This sounds like an innuendo.**

What on earth could they be talking about?

"You dunce," Hikaru.

"That's an inflatable boat, dummy," Kaoru.

"There's no way something that small could be used as a pool."

"Yeah."

Oh, I understand. Hikaru and Kaoru are idiots. It's just an inflatable pool what's so hard to understand.

"Guys it's a small pool," Haruhi sighed, clearly done with there shit. I, not wanting to lose any more brain cells, decided to just walk away.

My eyes landed on Honey who looked like he was actually have a good time. He was on Mori's back, in the current pool. They were going forward at the same rate as the water pushing back on them, even though Mori was trying extremely hard. They were Mori less succeeding. **I'm so sorry. I must pun.**

Mori stopped and look at Honey, indicating he wanted to take a break. Honey, being surprisingly reasonable agreed. The two stepped out of the current pool, when I realized that Hunny was wearing a pool floaty. Thinking I had gotten everything I needed to get out of that situation, I went to get some coconut juice. I had, at this point, figured out I probably wasn't being kidnapped, but if I was, I might as well enjoy it.

I then heard the grinding of gears. Extremely confused, I turned around to see Renge on some weird mechanical platform, wearing a swimsuit, with a tattoo thing on her stomach. She was screaming about Honey being threatened by another boy lolita type, and that was the moment I realized that I should just go into the water and try and ignore these people.

The water was actually nice and relaxing. Unlike most pools, I could barely feel the difference between the temperature in and outside the pool. I closed my eyes and just floated. Between Jaune's constant stupidity and Nora's demands for pancakes, I haven't really had a chance to just relax. I felt a small disturbance in the water, but I continued relaxing when I realized it was only Honey.

Not even five minutes after the Honey disturbance there was another disturbance making me want to just leave the pool because if I was going to be bothered every five minutes what's even the point? I looked up and realized that it wasn't normal disturbance. There was a massive wave coming at me. Well… this isn't going to be good.

I was pulled under the water by the giant wave. It was bringing me to a corner, and I knew that I would be slammed in the wall. Even though I prepared for the wall, I still gasped and water went into my mouth. The world started to go black, and I fainted.

 _*Hunny's Point of View*_

I was absolutely petrified when I saw the wave coming over me, but I was even more scared for Ren. He had barely realized the wave was even coming. I had easily gotten through getting pulled under by the wave, so when it spit me back up, I started looking for Ren. I didn't see him for quite a while, and I was worried that he hadn't made it.

I was about 4 minutes into my search when I saw an unconscious Ren. He looked a little blue. I was extremely scared for him, but thankfully, he started coughing up water.

"Ren! Thank gosh you're okay. I don't know what I would have done if you didn't wake up," I said, tears in the corners of my eyes.

"It okay," Ren comforted, with a scratchy voice, "I'm fine."

We sat there more a moment as I calmed down. It wasn't that hard for some reason. Being around Ren really relaxes me for some reason. Once I was fully calm, I asked Ren if we could start walking around to try and find the others. He agreed that we should start searching for the others.

It was really awkward as we were searching, so I decided to start telling a story about me and one of the girls I met in the host club.

"Then I said," continuing the story, "WHAT? You're not coming to my tea party? BETHANY! I MADE BISCUITS!"

That comment made Ren snicker a little. I counted that as a total win, since I had never heard Ren laugh before. After a little bit more awkward silence, Ren suggested that we should get on top of a tree, so we could use the aerial view to try and spot the others. I had always thought of myself as quite the athletic person but questioned myself when Ren started climbing the tree like he was a monkey.

Once I finally caught up with Ren, I was able to spot Takashi holding Haruhi bridal style, and he was surrounded by a bunch of police people. Now I, being a completely reasonable person, decided that the best course of action was grabbing the nearest vine and kicking a guard in the face.

Ren quickly followed after me, and we quickly beat up all the guards, as Haruhi stared at us in utter shock. I truly believe that Ren and I got quite a lot closer today, and I'd gladly hangout with him again, hopefully in a different situation.

Hikaru and Kaoru suggested that we go to the beach sometime soon, and I thought it would be super fun! I can't wait!

 **This Chapter's Pun Counter: 2**

 **Chapter Pun Record: 13**

 **Total Pun Counter: 33**

 **That ended really innocently. At this point, I don't know why anyone is reading this. I'm going to try to update more, but we all know how that's most likely going to turn out. I know this chapter was based off of an episode from OHSHC, so if you don't really like that tell me. I might make some shorter unrelated chapters of weird things I think of, so if you have opinions on that tell me.**

 **Also, for my 10th chapter I'm going to be telling some stuff about myself, so if you want to ask me some questions I'll happily answer them. Stay cool and in school guys! I don't know what I just did there, but I'm going to keep it.**


	10. Chapter 10

**First of all, I made a discord server for this hot mess. Please join. I need people to scream at me to update. Links aren't working, so I think that the letters must be entered to join. The link is also on my bio and works there, so you could join from there.**

/vsATuVb

 **Secondly, Let's go my dudes! After almost two years we have finally gotten to chapter 10! When I started this I always thought that no one would read this, and I am extremely happy to see that there are more than 4000 reads on this dumpster fire, that could be a nursery (Sorry, I had to). I'd like to thank every single person who read this, and I'd like to give a special thanks to Forever hero girl, for giving me the idea, and X3runner, for supporting me since the beginning and leaving comments.**

 **It took me a while to think of what to do for the tenth chapter, but I finally decided on making my take on the beach episode with the whole squad, meaning the host club and the entirety of both teams. There are a few things I've wanted to make happen in the story for a while, but I really haven't thought of a way to include it till now. If anyone saw the Halloween special that I put up and then deleted, I'm going to include a few things from that. At this point I'm rambling, so let's get onto the story!**

 _*Third Person*_

Ruby could believe it. She was so excited. She and her whole team were going to the beach with the host club, even though the rest of her team didn't know it yet, though they might be suspicious because Ruby told them to pack an overnight bag and bring a swimsuit to school that day. Over the week or so that she had been there, she had become really good friends with Haruhi and the twins. Haruhi and Ruby had bonded over their lack of moms. Neither of the two had ever really had someone to talk to about losing a parent, and it was really nice for them to just sit down and talk to someone else, who knew their struggle.

Ruby and the twins bonded over telling stories of epic pranks they have pulled on other people. Ruby told a story of a time that she had replaced the sugar in Weiss's coffee with salt. Whilst the twins told Ruby of the hundreds of times they had messed with Tamaki.

The rest of the Beacon group had also bonded with the 1-A trio, but no one really had made the same connection Ruby had, besides the boys of course, since they were in the host club together. The rest of the girls had some connections, but they still struggled to really get to know anyone. This made Ruby think that the beach trip would be good for them.

"Hey Ruby," the twins said in unison, "Are you ready for the beach trip?"

Ruby's eyes lit up with joy. "I've been waiting all day, and I've even gotten some stuff ready!" she proclaimed hitting a small red and black bag she brought with her.

"Um, Ruby?" Kaoru questioned.

"What's in the bag?" Hikaru finished.

"That's for me to know and for you to find out," Ruby cackled.

The twins quickly looked at each other, in absolute horror, but before they had enough time to say anything the rest of team RWBY was behind Ruby and was waiting for her to join them for lunch.

"Hey, Ruby!" called Yang, "You're joining us for lunch right?"

"Of course!" she then turned to the twins, "See you later!"

*le skip of time*

After a few hours of class, in which Ruby was bouncing like the little child she is inside, it was finally time for the beach trip. Of course, Ruby still didn't know how the rest of her team was going to be brought to the beach, until a few members of the host club showed up and started dragging the Beacon students to an unknown location. Ruby assumed that they probably had good intentions, even if Weiss was loudly screaming in protest, so she decided to follow them.

Ruby's eyes lit up when she saw an extremely long black limo! She'd never been in a limo before, and, in true Ruby fashion, she was very excited experiencing one for the first time. Once the entirety of the Beacon and Ouran students were in the limo, Tamaki finally explained to the rest of the Beacon girls what was actually going on.

The limo was pretty quiet until Tamaki asked, "Are you girls excited about going to the beach?"

Most girls muttered multiple forms of yes, whilst Nora loudly screamed about how she was going to cream everyone in volleyball.

Though Weiss responded no due to it, "ruining her fair complexion," and Blake said something about how she was reading a good book and just wanted to get back to it.

"What's the book?" the twins asked together, which shocked the club members for this was the first time they'd ever gotten any form of indication the twins could actually read.

"Well, um, it's a book," Blake responded embarrassed, as she blushed, looked down, and refused to give any other form of explanation.

"Well," Yang started, "if it's impossible to put down, it must be about anti-gravity."

This promptly united the car through the universal language of cringing at bad puns. Yang continued sharing some beautiful puns/dad jokes like, 'Atheism is a non-prophet organization,' and 'I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of a chapstick. She still isn't talking to me.' Thanks to these amazing puns/dad jokes, the ride passed quickly and enjoyably.

When the teenagers exited the car, they saw a beautiful sunset of reds, yellows and oranges, signaling that they should probably be turning in for the night. They were quite excited for their beach adventure tomorrow.

*Time skip but this time it's at the beach*

To be completely honest, the hosts should have known this was coming. Kyoya had invited the guests to the beach with them. The teenagers were still determined to make the best of a bad situation.

Ren, decided to play a nice relaxing game of beach volleyball, but of course, Nora and Yang wanted to play a game to their deaths. The twins, thinking that the game sounded fun decided to join in. This lead to a very intense game of volleyball with a multitude of different tactics, leading to an enthralled set of girls staring at the shirtless boys, sweating, as they played.

Tamaki was sitting on a rock as girls took turns talking to him, as Kyoya keeping track of the time they were spending. At the same time, Pyrrha joined Honey and Mori, in what looked like some weird demon summoning ritual, but in reality, it was just yoga.

Ruby and Jaune were building an epic sand castle fortress with the help of some of the host club's guests. Though in the end, due to the extreme clumsiness of the team leaders, the fortress was destroyed, but obviously, there was good reason for Ruby and Jaune being picked as team leaders because they were able to convince the girls to rebuild the fortress.

Finally, Haruhi, Blake, and Weiss decided to just sit underneath an umbrella and watch the chaos unfold.

"Hey Haruhi!" one of the girls called. "Do you want to go into the water with us?"

"No thanks," the girl disguised as a boy called back, "I like looking at the water from a far, but you girls should keep on enjoying it. It would be a shame to waste those cute swimsuits you have on." The girls blushed at this comment, as Haruhi lied back, hoping to relax a little bit. Haruhi was quickly proven wrong, when she heard the sound of a semi truck. Guess she'd just have to truck on with the day until it was over, and she could finally rest.

As Haruhi walked over to the truck, she realized that the police force that she'd seen at Kyoya's family's resort the other day were unloading multiple buckets of shellfish onto the beach, as Honey collected them. Haruhi joined, hoping to collect enough for a side dish for dinner tonight. She paid no mind to the comment that Tamaki made about the crab looking crabtivating. She also didn't really care when a bug crawled onto the crab she was holding. As a normal person does when they see a bug, Haruhi picked it up and yeeted that sucker towards some rocks.

Everyone around Haruhi commented about how brave she was for dealing with the bug. This gave the twins an idea for a game to see who could find out Haruhi's weakness. The hosts tried many different methods to find said weakness, but all of them failed miserably. Tamaki was just about to try out snakes, when Haruhi saw some girls being bullied up a hill. She ran up to try to save them, Jaune, who was acting Haruhi's self control throughout the 'Find Haruhi's Weakness Game', was trailing close behind her.

Once up the cliff, Haruhi yeeted a bucket of crabs at the back of one said bully, prompting the man to yeet her off a cliff. Jaune also trying help the girls, attempted to use some of the close combat skill Pyrrha had taught him. The key word here is attempted. That attempt did not go that well, thus he too, was yeeted off the cliff.

In the meantime, the rest of the teenagers noticed that Jaune and Haruhi were in trouble, and so when they reached the top of the cliff, Pyrrha and Tamaki jumped off after Jaune and Haruhi. Whilst Ren calmly and effectively, beat up the troublemakers, and the twins did the same, albeit less effectively and not calmly what-so-ever.

When Jaune and Haruhi emerged from the water being carried by Pyrrha and Tamaki, Jaune got commended for his bravery by Pyrrha, who was truly proud that Jaune would even put himself in that position. However, Haruhi was not as lucky, for Tamaki gave her a stern talking to about putting herself into a dangerous position. Haruhi defended herself, saying that she was just doing what was right, making the two quite angry at each other.

That night at dinner the table was very quiet. Honey and Mori were kind enough to make dinner with the seafood they had found, and they had served it. The people of the table were waiting for Honey to tell them it was okay to eat, but it ended up not being necessary as Nora just grabbed some of the crab and started consuming it. Even though the meal had started, no one talked. The only sounds heard were people cracking and eating crab.

Once Tamaki left the table, Kyoya leading him to his room, Haruhi admitted that she probably learn some way to defend herself and apologized to everyone remaining at the table. She was going to make her way to Tamaki to say sorry to him, but her stomach had other plans, leading her to the closest bathroom.

Once she exited the bathroom, she realized she had no idea where she was. Until she saw Kyoya with a towel covering his damp locks of black hair. Haruhi decided to apologize to him, knowing he had to deal with the girls after the incident. Kyoya mentioned about how he had to get all the girls flowers to pay them back, as he dimmed the lights of the room, concerning Haruhi.

"If you want to, you can pay me back with your body," Kyoya supplied. The next thing Haruhi knew, Kyoya was on top of her.

Haruhi didn't even hear what Kyoya said next. She was too busy just staring at Kyoya, but then she realized, "You won't do it Kyoya-senpai. I know. Because it wouldn't do you any good. You wouldn't gain anything from it."  
At that moment, Tamaki walked into the room asking for lotion for his sunburn and noticed Kyoya on top of Haruhi. His jaw dropped. Kyoya gave Tamaki the lotion and walked out of the room, claiming he other places to be, despite Tamaki's resistance. Once he left, he walked towards the room of none other than Blake Belladonna.

"Did you enjoy today?" Kyoya asked as he entered Blake's room.

"I guess," Blake responded boredly.

"Why didn't you go swimming?"

"I just didn't want to. What's with all the questions?"

"Don't play dumb with me. I know your secret. There's a reason you always wear that bow."

Blakes eyes opened slightly, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Kyoya rolled his eyes, "I don't know why your feline like lion to me. You can't hide this fur-ever. I'm paw-sitive it'd be purr-furable if you just came clean, but I'll leave you alone for now," he left the room.

After that string of puns, Blake was certain that he knew that she was a faunus.

*The final time skip*

As the host rode away a light was shined upon what Tamaki did with Haruhi last night. Everyone felt a little closer to each other, as they insulted Tamaki because everyone knows the best way to make friends, is to have a common enemy.

They were all having a great time roasting Tamaki, when Ruby realized something, "I didn't set off the fireworks!" she exclaimed pulling fireworks out her red and black bag, finally revealing what was inside to the twins. There were quite a few groans of people thinking that fireworks would have been really cool. Ren emerged as the voice of reason.

"Ruby, where did you get those?" He questioned.

"Uncle Qrow gave them to me!" Ruby exclaimed with a large smile.

 **This Chapter's Pun Counter: 10**

 **Chapter Pun Record: 13**

 **Total Pun Counter: 43**

 **First things first, I made a discord server, cause I need people to scream at me to update. I know I put this in the upper author's note as well, but I really want people to join. I can't get links to work on here, so if you want to join, which I highly recommend, you will have to enter the letters. Either that or go to my bio and join from there because the link actually works.**

 **/vsATuVb**

 **I know you can't copy on here, but please take like 10 second out of your day to type this in and join the server. It would make my day!**

 **Secondly, This is the longest chapter I've ever written and the second punniest, which I believe is cause for celebration.**

 **Finally, This is the tenth chapter, so I believe that I should share some fun facts about myself.**

 **I cosplay Blake in real life. The story behind this is really weird and complicated, so I'll spare you the details. I've been cosplaying her for about 3 and a half years now.**

 **I've written other fanfiction under different aliases on different platforms, but this one is the longest running of all of them.**

 **I'm not going to say my birthday out right, because that'd be weird, but I am going to say that I share a birthday with Ruby.**


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